Prescriptive Hierarchy says “you are my primary therefore the following is the way it is”. It forces people in boxes and to behave certain ways and puts restrictions on our other relationships because they must fit into a certain box. It is the stuff that gets the poly community all up in arm.

Descriptive Hierarchy is just a statement or description of the current state of things. It doesn’t project any meaning, rules or order it just says how things are at the moment, not that they may not change at any moment as things develop and grow. This person is my primary and as such we do xyz but I have no attachment to it and know that it is likely to change as our other relationships change.