Someone shared this with you – likely because they know you are struggling with jealousy in your journey of polyamory. They want you to know that they understand what it’s like to feel insecure. They know it’s hard to think about your partner with another person – even if it’s just spending time away with them. It causes gross feelings and there’s chemicals racing through your body that are making you think … all sorts of bad things. It’s not fun to sit in these feelings and nobody enjoys them. They want you to know that your feelings are completely valid and normal. What you may not know is that you’ve actually been attacked by the Jealousy Mind Flayer. What’s that a Jealousy Mind Flayer? Well, let me explain…
When you play RPG’s (Role Playing Games), you generally start out as a level 1 character. This means you can handle a sword or bow decently but you’re not really equipped to fight much more than some little goblins or a wild boar. You have to play through a bunch of quests and get life experiences to level up and fight the bigger monsters. The game generally won’t give you any level 30 monster to kill when you’re a level 1. Well… they might. If you do something really stupid. Like shooting an arrow at a gazebo. Ok sorry, I digress.
Unfortunately, in real life, the Jealousy Mind Flayer is a level 30 monster and when you start your polyamory journey you’re starting out at level 1*. You barely get a chance to start your journey and BAM!!! You’re standing there staring at a Level 30 Jealousy Mind Flayer. The scary part is that the Jealousy Mind Flayer (JMF) doesn’t ever actually kill you but instead it stuns you and then it takes control of your mind. It is trying to make you sabotage yourself until you’re alone and sad. These monsters are really twisted.
*Levels may vary
Like most monsters, the more we know about them and the more we understand them the better equipped we are to fight them. Here are some examples of ways the JMF will mind-fuck you.
The JMF makes you believe that the other person your partner is dating is your competition. In reality, the other person is someone who loves and adores your partner just as much as you and only wants them to be happy. Just like you do.
The JMF makes you believe that if your partner dates someone with a different gender than you, they won’t leave you. In reality, your partner is just as likely to leave you regardless of the person’s gender.
The JMF will make you believe that it’s the other person that will pull your partner away from you. In reality, the JMF is making it so you’re the one actually pushing your partner away.
The JMF will make you believe that you need to hold onto your partner tighter so they can’t get away. In reality, the JMF is making you suffocate them and not give them room to be free and happy.
The JMF will make you believe that you’re a big giant dumpster fire and you don’t deserve love. In reality, your partner chooses to be with you because there’s a lot of really great things about you.
The JMF will make you believe that the only reason your partner would want to be with someone else is because they hate you and aren’t happy in their relationship. In reality, your partner simply craves even more love and connection in their life and it has nothing to do with you at all.
The JMF will make you believe that polyamory is the evil force that’s destroying your life. In reality, it’s the JMF that is the evil force destroying your life.
These are a few examples – but there’s so many ways the JMF will try and destroy you. It is very creative and very insidious! The more information you have about the JMF the better equipped you will be to fight it. You need to use the power of your mind to overcome the thoughts that the JMF is implanting in your head. Over time, the powers of the JFM will have less of an effect on you. You will gradually become stronger and more confident each time you fight the JMF. Your emotional intelligence score will shoot up with every successful battle. Be aware, the JMF very rarely ever fully goes away. In fact, you might be coasting along just fine for quite some time and then that jerk shows up and tries to attack you again. However, as you level up on your journey, the JMF stays the same level. After some time and experience, as you’re attacked by the JMF, it will feel less like you’re being dragged over glass shards behind a truck and more like a little bee sting.
Note: All you hardcore D&D folks. I know the mind flayer actually eats the victims brains and turns them into slaves. This is the Jealousy Mind Flayer. It’s different, ok?
