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Deprogramming Monogamy
I’ve been thinking recently about how I’m 6 years deep into learning about polyamory and living it everyday, yet, I still find myself on monogamous thought tracks. Wwwwhhhhhyyyyy? I thought I was done with monogamy and had deprogrammed every part out of it out of my brain. Why is it still there? Deprogramming your brain […]
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Thanks Polyamory! It Has Been Fun!
I’ve been thinking… What if polyamory is just a phase for me? What if it was just a mechanism to manage my fear of commitment? A vessel for validation? Well, if you’re reading this and are thinking “I knew it!” I have to let you know that I’m not actually wondering those things. My brain […]
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Rules Vs. Agreements – Part I
Welcome to Rules Vs Agreement Series Part I! I hope to hear from my friends and other polyam folks who have good examples for future parts to this series. Feel free to send them my way! Rules come up a lot in my posts. If you’ve read any of my posts that reference rules you […]
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No, She Doesn’t Want to See Your Dick
When you’re in the world of polyamory for a handful of years and spend time on various forums, you start to see the same conversations over and over. Hard topics hashed out with no clear winners. One of the debates I see pretty consistently starts with a post like this: This triggers a back and […]
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Why I’m Not Down With The OPP
I’m not talking about the same OPP from the 90’s song by Naughty by Nature. I’m talking about something different. It’s something that plagues the polyamory community and is widely seen as unethical. The OPP I’m not down with is the One Penis Policy. If you want to see how this policy can cause problems […]
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3 Invasive Species in the Relationship Ecosystem
Do you remember in grade school when your science teacher told you to think of human cells like little cities? City walls, city streets, recycling plants and all that fun stuff. Ever since then I would make all kinds of comparisons to better organize and understand things. It doesn’t even surprise me a little bit […]
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The Jealousy Mind Flayer
Someone shared this with you – likely because they know you are struggling with jealousy in your journey of polyamory. They want you to know that they understand what it’s like to feel insecure. They know it’s hard to think about your partner with another person – even if it’s just spending time away with […]
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Walls – My Hidden Toxic Trait
Before polyamory, I was a serial monogamist and had been in a few long term relationships starting from when I was 17. If you exclude all my middle school and high school relationships (can we even REALLY call them all relationships?) then I have not dated much at all as an adult. In a lot […]
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The Confusing World of Hierarchy
I’m going to be talking about hierarchy a lot in this article. It’s a tricky topic so before I start, let’s start with the definition: What is hierarchy? Hierarchy – a system or organization in which people or groups are ranked one above the other according to status or authority. Is this something that happens […]
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The Polyamory Rule Book
I’ve spent countless hours working on this. When I started my journey I had always wished there was a rule book for polyamory. Monogamy seems to have pretty clearly defined rules, why can’t polyamory? Well here it is. Finally. A rule book for polyamory: Rule #1: Treat the people you care about with basic human […]
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